I was in the middle of communicating with Sister Wright last Friday when she told me she was diagnosed with Strep Throat and also mentioned she sent me a "nitty gritty email". Her email was full of raw emotion and honest feelings. It literally broke my heart (really!) to know how she was feeling in her first couple of days in the MTC and that I couldn't do a thing to help her physically. My heart ACHED for her. So. Much. Today, she asked me if I would share that email on the blog. So, here it is. Brace yourself, it's tough to swallow. I will say, as I was pondering over this email, I was inspired with the thought that as I was hurting for Mickey, THAT was exactly how the Lord was feeling for her and for me as I hurt for her. He is real. He knows us. He knows our struggles and he will help us through them as we turn to Him for help and guidance. He won't take our hardships away from us because we need them to grow and make us stronger, but when we ask, He can give us extra strength beyond our own capacity to face and get through those struggles.
I want to bare my testimony on the power of prayer. As I ached to be able to wrap my arms around Mickey and help her through her pain, - but couldn't, the only thing I knew to do was pray. Pray hard. Pray as a group. This week I have asked so many people to pray for Sister Wright. I know the Lord listens and helps. He doesn't leave us alone. He is on our right hand and on our left. James 5:16 reminds us that a fervant prayer availeth much. The only thing more powerful than a righteous man or woman's prayer is the fervant prayer of a group. When we are of 'one heart and one mind', our cumulative faith brings blessings one could not obtain individually. Unity is strength. I know Mickey's days and weeks will get better because of all of our prayers and her sincere desire to serve Him. It's why she went into the MTC in the first place. Keep the faith. THANK YOU for praying for her. I know it is helping her. Remember that as you read Mickey's letter from her first week in the MTC.
Jess, I probably will not be able to express fully the amount of heart ache I have experienced these last two days. I can honestly say they have been the HARDEST, and WORST days of my life. I have always been so set on not coming home early, but from the moment I got here, I have never wanted to be home more.
The happy part of me wants to express the amount of divine love I have for my sweet companion, Sœur Robinson. From the moment I met her, I have loved her and we get along well. Already, we've heard from a few of the other sisters that we are "Companionship Goals!" I couldn't help but laugh a bit. We literally are the same person. So outgoing, Loving, we had the same nail polish, we get annoyed at the same things, we like the same food, and we're just best friends already. ♥
Now, the sad and emotionally stressed part of me would share that I am SO overwhelmed. From the moment I walked into class, Sœur Erickson (Our teacher) only spoke french to us, and fortunately, I was able to understand most of what she was saying because she was great at talking with her hands.. so as class went on, it just got harder and harder.
There are 8 of us in my District.. The way it works is when everyone gets to the MTC we are all missionaries, right? So think of the MTC as the USA, it is broken into Zones (usually made up of everyone studying the same language as you) These are like states, then split into Districts (usually all going to the same place) These are like Cities, and the split into Companionships.. (That's like your family) My district are all going to Tahiti, so we will be with each other for the 9 weeks we are here. We study it all together. -Unfortunately, I am the ONLY one who has not studied any French, let alone.. 3 years. They have all been able to keep up with the rigor of the teaching, and I have broken down every single time I've gone to class. I get really frustrated when I don't know how to do things, especially when everyone else around me does. So it has been hard. It's like they all came pre-qualified, and I'm just here.. like a dead fish or something. Fortunately, our teacher, Brother Call pulled me aside in class and asked what was going on. I couldn't stop crying, and I didn't seem to be focusing very well. I expressed how hard it was for me to be behind everyone else. I haven't ever really experienced that before, and how everyone can respond to his French questions in French, and I literally didn't know anything. He presumed to ask me if I had ever taken french before, or studied it and obviously I hadn't, then he asked if it would make sense if I did speak french... -No.. But I'm great at comparing myself to others. But another thing is that I have never wanted my family to be with me more than I do right now. I want so badly to be with them.. and because of that, I don't know if I've even gone 1 hour without crying like a big baby.. and of course, no one else in my whole district has cried.. so here I am.. the only one struggling with French, and the only one who clearly is homesick. -It sucks. I literally hate it here. I hate everything about it.. I am on a ridiculous schedule, the beds aren't comfortable, I miss home food already, and I miss my sleepover-buddy. Let me tell ya, I look forward to showering even MORE now than I already did. People have always told me that missions are hard, but worth it.. but what I'm telling you is that if Missions are this hard, I'm not even sure I can make it. Every part of me hates it here. I hear that if I can make it until Sunday, then It'll all get better. But wait... did I mention that I haven't slept hardly at all? Nor have I eaten much food.. I have had the WORST sore throat, head ache, and I feel cold ALL the time, but I'm dying of heat.. So this morning at 3 AM, I climbed out of bed and begged for help from one of the sisters in my room, and she pretty much just said, "Well do you have medicine?" and that's it.. I kind of wanted to throw my pillow at her, and to feel some sympathy.. but I've had to remember that I just need to take it one day at a time. I am in charge of myself now, and when I get sick, I don't just get to go ask my parental adult for help, I pretty much just have to stick it out. So this morning, I missed going to the temple, and was finally able to go back to sleep around 7, and I only did that because the doctor's office didn't open until 8.. but when I got there, he told me I have strep Throat.. that I should rest all day, and he even told me I shouldn't go to Class today or tomorrow, and obviously, I cried even more, because I am already feeling so behind.. and this just sets me back even farther.. but ya know what, I am glad to know I'm sick, and that I'm doing all in my efforts to get better.
On that bright note, this has been the biggest challenge of my life, and if I can make it, even through this week, I know I will have grown so much.
I asked for a blessing last night, but our Zone leaders, which helped a lot, and my companion FINALLY cried.. A sympathy cry, but a cry none the less.
-I'm still a Mormon.
-Keep Smiling.
-I LOVE you. More than you will EVER know. Ever.
Sœur Wright ♥
PS: To make the œ You push ALT then 0 1 5 6
Fun Facts- I will actually be called Tuahine Wright (Tahitian for Sister Wright), But I wont get that name badge until I head out to Tahiti.
The Tahitian missionaries get more books than anyone else.. it totals like 35 lbs.
I live on the 4th floor, and since I am sick, I get to use the elevator... I never thought I'd be so happy about that.
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